If it wasn’t broken, there would be nothing to fix!

 

We grow up hearing that old saying all our lives, “If it ain’t broke, then don’t fix it”.

I would be the first to agree with this but, when you work in my industry, the question I get asked all the time is, “well how do I know if it’s broken or I am just being unrealistic?’.  I always answer the same way, “If you are questioning it, then something’s not right”. At this stage, the ‘something’ is not the issue, an acceptance that something is missing or not right is all people need to worry about at this time.

The more time we spend justifying and questioning and pros and consing (weird word I know) everything, the more time we are living in what I refer to as ‘potential’ land. The potential of something is good to know and to perhaps explore for a certain period of time.

There comes a point however, when potential doesn’t cut it any longer and some action needs to be taken. When something fits right in an emotional sense, you don’t need to think about it. It’s the same with a good pair of jeans, they just slide on, you do the zip up and off you go. There is no over analysing, having to lie down on the bed, hauling them up over your knees, sucking your stomach in and then when you have them on, people look at you oddly because you look strange. This is of course, because you can’t breathe!

I think we have all been in that space where we have spoken about an aspect of our lies in much the same way as we would when the pants that are too tight……’If I lose 5 kgs, they will be perfect, the potential is there’.

When I speak to clients in relationships who are with a ‘Mr. Potential’, another one, that we can all relate to , I just bring to the forefront of the mind the fact that potential is not enough of a reason to be there. If the relationship is not serving you and you are getting no closer to your goals of happiness then perhaps the relationship is not for you. This does not mean that anyone is to blame or that someone is wrong or right, but if you are on different pages of the book, this does not lead to happiness. The only one who can change the book you are is you, there are after all, many great love stories to choose from, so perhaps do some self love work and then jump into another book where the scenery is better and the story even more loving than the last.  (sorry, I can get carried away with the romance story part sometimes, but you know what I mean)

I had a client a while back who used to say to me that she dreaded Mondays with a passion but that her job was ok because by Wednesday she was fine. I had to really question her on this and she realised that she was only really fine because she was looking forward to her weekend by Wednesday. She was literally wishing more than half of her life away. She was not totally unhappy but the fit for her was not there, she had to work very hard at keeping her motivation levels up as she was not in the right role.

Where in your life are things a bit cracked, dully, or feeling as if they are broken? If you have an area of your life that is currently taking a lot of your thoughts and the feeling that go along with this time are not positive, you are feeling stuck and not heading towards your goals, then perhaps some work on accepting that something may just not be right for you is the first step towards getting what you really desire.

Just remember, the more you have to justify, the more you are not accepting which means it’s not aligned to your values and goals!

 

Emma Driscoll is passionate in her role as a success coach and believes that no person should be held back by self limiting beliefs and that with the correct mental attitudes and emotional support anything is possible.

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